There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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