she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
