I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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