u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
