It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
