This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
