We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
