i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Oh god it's open bar.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
