i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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