So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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