then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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