felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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