I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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