i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
