You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
