He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
