I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
