Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
