mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
