btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
