i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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