Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
