HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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