i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize