Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We smell like vodka and hangover
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