You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
