I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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