does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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