Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
did i just pee glitter
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
