uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
