i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
