did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
