I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
