I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
