What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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