it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
