I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
