Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize