I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
