Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Randomize
