he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
