So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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