I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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