hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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