I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
