I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
