weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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