Moan for me like Helen Keller
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
