According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
