Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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