Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You pole danced in your parka.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
