like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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