So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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