my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
