When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
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I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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