So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize