So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize