he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
