Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
